Taking the Day Off

I have things to do like, oh, writing, because I'm like a, you know, writer with deadlines and stuff and I have to think of imagery and metaphors and tenses and stuff. It's totally hard and makes my brain hurt.

Now, you are crying and saying, "Marta, we can't just pay attention to our boss, because his pants have PLEATS and he burns popcorn in the microwave every day!" I know. So I'm giving you a few videos to watch and something to think about: I'll be having a contest soon for the BEST VAMPIRE QUOTES! Bela Lugosi started this fine tradition with, "I vant to suck your blood!"

Here are your videos!

Getting ready for "Supernatural" tonight? Here's a video for Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles).



This vid's for Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) of "Blood Ties."



Okay, I've seen "Zoolander" like way too many times, and I love all the male models, including Alexander Skarsgard, who now plays Eric Northman on "True Blood," as Meekus.

Kick-Ass Chicks & "Supernaturally" Awesome!

Vicky London of Vampire Genre was the winner of Vampire Wire's contest for Keeper of Light & Dust by Natasha Mostert. (You can read my Q&A with Natasha here.) Here's Vicky's review of the book. "It’s just not very often that I find a book to gush over, much less two and both by the same author. Natasha Mostert is one of the few authors that teaches me something incredibly interesting every time I read one of her books."

Anna Katherine is guest blogging and giving away a copy of her new book, Salt & Silver, at Darque Reviews. "For my book SALT AND SILVER, I decided to mix my two loves -- solid historical research and urban fantasy. So, modern setting, a Brooklyn diner, a spoiled ex-rich kid, et cetera."

If you'd like to join the movement to save "Blood Ties," you can join the Yahoo Group.

Borders is celebrating (or cashing in on, whatever) the success of "True Blood," based on Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire novels, by dedicating a site to the TV series and the novels.

Continuing the Henry Fitzroy (Kyle Schmid) and "Blood Ties" looove, Vampire Wire reader Anne sent me a link to this video. I think a dentist must have made it: "shiny teeth that twinkle." It is a nice antidote to the angsty vamps.




"Supernatural"? Supernaturally AWESOME, you mean! So I didn't mention the show last week, which surprised me as usual with the ending and now we get to see what happens when Dean Winchester (Jensen Ackles) tries to de-program his demon-blood addicted brother, Sam (Jared Paladecki). Me, I am totally digging Bad Sammy, who is much more interesting than med student, nice kid Sam.

TV Guide has a long, exclusive preview and you have to go there to see it. (They don't understand the whole point of the Internets.) "Sam will involuntarily book a reservation in the subterranean panic room, as Bobby and Dean debate how best to deal with the demon-blood addict."

But here's a shorter preview.



Okay, don't watch this video if you don't want spoilers for the show, but an old character returns. I would like to officially recant my dislike for the way the actor camps up the speech of this character. After seeing him interviewed, I have to say I admire his wacky interpretation. More after the episode airs.

MOVIE NEWS: Hugh Jackman is going to star in a new supernatural flick, "Ghostopolis." "'Ghostopolis' centers on a man who works for the Supernatural Immigration Task Force, responsible for sending ghosts back to their rightful resting place of Ghostopolis. Things get tricky when a living boy is accidentally sent to The Other Side, forcing the agent to team up with a female ghost (who also used to be his girlfriend) in order to bring him back to the living." (Splash Page)


GRATUITOUS VIDEOS OF THE DAY

Yeah, as if this whole blog isn't gratuitous. Anyway, here's a tribute to "True Blood's" Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) in a bathtub.



We've had a lot of hunkitude lately, what with the Ultimate Hawt Vampire List and Contest, so here's something celebrating the kick-ass chicks. I, personally, am touched that the video maker, LavElixir, saw the underlying feminist message in a Rob Zombie tune. (Zombie never gets credit for his inner girl.)

Ultimate Hawt Vampire Cinco De Mayo

I will get back to regular content when I'm done my current project, but for now you'll have to celebrate Cinco De Mayo by drinking a margarita out of your coffee cup at work and watching hawt vampire videos as part of my continuing Ultimate Hawt Vampire List & Contest.

A few votes have gone to Dr. Carlisle Cullen, as played by Peter Facinelli, in "Twilight." Call me old fashioned, but I like eyeliner on men, but not lipstick. Anyway, I was cruising through fan vids and MysteryTwilightVoice mentioned that the actor has a fabulous voice. He really does.



I prefer Facinelli with dark hair and he rocks the "Dracula 2000" long locks. This vid, with a song that will bring down your IQ by a minimum of 20 points, is by MigraineSky.




DarkStar2404 visited Vampire Wire this week and here's another of her lovely videos in honor of Henry Fitzroy (Kyle Schmid) of "Blood Ties." The song goodness should wipe out privious song badness in one of the vids above.




I really thought Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) of "True Blood" would get more votes. Anyway, Thellou made this great video tribute to the character.



One comment wished for a write-in vote for Drusilla (Juliet Landau) of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer." Here's a video from Michie753 featuring Drusilla and Spike (James Marsters) and Bon Jovi. Because you can't go wrong with a Bon Jovi soundtrack.

Guest Post & Contest with Esri Rose

"I enjoyed Stolen Magic so much, I devoured it in one night!"

NYT Bestselling Author Kerrelyn Sparks

Esri Rose, the author of the elfy Bound to Love Her, is guest blogging here today. I interviewed Esri last year about her first novel and her attraction to those of the elfish persuasion. Her new novel, Stolen Magic, is out today, and Esri's going to give away a copy to someone who leaves a comment. This contest runs through Saturday evening and Esri will pick the winner.

Congratulations on your new release and welcome, Esri!

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Why so secret, paranormal creatures?

Paranormal creatures are all about secrecy. It’s as if pointy ears and teeth are genetically linked to paranoia. Well, today I’m calling them out. What, in 400 years of existence, you never picked up a can-do attitude? It’s a matter of selling yourself, and I’m not talking about, “I’m perfectly suited to work the night shift.” That’s not good enough. If you want acceptance by the mainstream, you gotta make it in television, baby. Look at Will and Grace. Look at Queer Eye. Look at friggin’ Ellen. Now take a look at the following pitch ideas, and remember, I get 12% off the top.

Late Night with Vlad

No one is more perfectly suited to be a talk-show host than a vampire. That perfect pale skin never sweats under the hot lights, and you don’t have to worry about them gaining twenty pounds because they kicked their coke habit. In addition, actors who look into their eyes too long can be coaxed into dishing about their latest director. “He made everyone so comfortable on the set… (glazed look) Except for that intern whose nipple he tweaked in front of everyone." Money shot: The host occasionally vaults over his desk and sucks the blood of B-list guests. Make sure Danny Bonaduce knows this is in his contract.

The Child Whisperer

I love this because it turns a known concept inside out. Are you ready? Parents with horrible children call in a female werewolf to show them how to discipline their brats. (Note to producer: Make sure the werewolf is hot when she’s in human form.) Who wouldn’t like to see “time out” replaced by a rousing chase around the yard followed by a bite on the ass? Money shot: close-up of kid’s tear-streaked face as he whispers, “I swear I’ll never kick you again, Mommy. You’re my pack leader.”

Zombie Monster Truck Rally

When the economy’s in the crapper, people need two things – a good show, and a reminder that someone is worse off than them – i.e., the dead. Plus, none of the participants are going to sue for hearing loss or internal injuries, so you save money on insurance right from the get-go. Money shot: Post-race interviewer: “That was a pretty bad wreck. Is losing your arm going to hurt you in the finals, or are you still determined to give a hundred and ten percent?” Zombie driver: “Braaaains…”

Survivor – Island of Dr. Moreau

Shapeshifters versus humans! Or maybe shapeshifters among the humans. Either way, this is gold. Should they vote Robert off, or can he change into a puma and win the next challenge? Is it legal to kill and eat your tribemate when he’s in animal form? Forget I said that. Money shot: Hottest girl and guy sneak into a shelter. After much moaning from inside, we hear a gasp and the girl rockets out, screaming and naked. Is a bite on the back of her neck too much? Maybe she just picks up a couple of fleas.

Elves Versus Models

Forget What Not to Wear – no one sticks it to your self-esteem like an Elf, but that shouldn’t keep supermodels from trying to compete against them. There isn’t a woman in America who doesn’t want those skinny bitches taken down a peg. I’m thinking the final challenge involves a catwalk in lingerie and four-inch heels, only – get this – the runway is a giant tree branch, somewhere in the rainforest or something. Of course we’ll have a net underneath! Money shot: Having failed to spot a knothole, Marisa Miller is fished out of the net, mascara running down her face as she sobs, “My hair will never look as good as theirs. Never!”
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Esri Rose writes paranormal romantic-suspense with a dash of humor. Stolen Magic, her second book about elves in Boulder, Colorado, comes out May 5. Also starting May 5, you can register to win Boulder for Free, including hotel nights, restaurant and boutique gift certificates, theater tickets, jewelry, art, and body care. Visit ElvesInBoulder.com to enter. Esri’s main website/blog is ElvesAmongUs.com, where you can read the first chapter of Stolen Magic.

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Thanks, Esri!

Please leave a comment for Esri to enter her contest for a copy of her spanking new novel, Stolen Magic!

Extension of Ultimate Hawt Vampire Poll and Contest

I'd actually wanted the Ultimate Vampire List Poll to run through MAY 10, and I put down the wrong date. (Yes, I lose track of days because I work at home.) So I'm officially extending it, or correcting it.

The poll ends on May 10, Sunday night.

Okay, the good part is that I'm trying to wrastle up more prizes! So I hope you will all be patient and wait for one more week.

Tomorrow I'll have a guest blog from Esri Rose and book contest for her new release, Stolen Magic!

In the meanwhile, here are some Gratuitous Videos of Hawt Vampire Nominees for your viewing enjoyment.

"Moonlight" buddies, Josef (Jason Dohring) and Mick (Alex O'Loughlin) work it to the duh-duh-duh-duh-duh song.



Okay, I'm totally getting the Henry Fitzroy (Kyle Schmid) and "Blood Ties" love. Those who haven't seen this show can go to Lifetime and watch entire episodes.



I couldn't find many videos with Mark Frankel, who played Julian Luna in "Kindred: The Embraced" but here's one. Sadly, Frankel died in a motorcycle accident in 1996.



I couldn't find any good videos of Adrian Paul in his role as Aaron Gray in "The Breed," so here's one celebrating the hunkitude of his other supernatural, "Highlander."

Kitty Norville Book Giveaway & Official Eric Northman Club

Many thanks to Valerie Russo at Hachette Books for supporting the Ultimate Hawt Vampire List Contest! Valerie and Hachette are contributing a set of Carrie Vaughn's exciting, sexy, and hip Kitty Norville series as a prize.

Kitty Raises Hell

Kitty and the Dead Man's Hand

Kitty and the Silver Bullet

Kitty Takes a Holiday

Kitty Goes to Washington

Kitty and The Midnight Hour

You don't have to be a fan of weres and shifters to love this series. Kimberly Swan at Darque Reviews says, "Ms. Vaughn pens a tale of dark magic, and populates her world with intriguing characters that never fail in keeping readers engrossed as the story unfolds... If you’re an urban fantasy reader and haven’t gotten hooked on Kitty’s adventures yet, you should start this series at the beginning and not miss a word."

Literary Escapism says, "This is one of those series that continually drags you in and doesn’t let you go; and, honestly, if you haven’t checked it out yet, you really need to."

Werewolves, rock n roll, radio...you really can't go wrong with this series. Thanks, Valerie & Hachette! Enter the contest here.

Also, the Ultimate Hawt Vampire List contest is turning out to be a bitingly tense rivalry between Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) of "True Blood" and Henry Fitzroy (Kyle Schmid) of "Blood Ties" -- both young for their ancient roles.

Now, not everyone will win the fabulous prizes and so to stave off bitterness and resentment, I've come up with these little trinkets for you.

Print them out, post them to your site, wear them and share them.




GRATUITOUS VIDEOS OF THE DAY

You don't know how many videos I had to go through to find one that didn't have a cloying, nanny-nanny-whiny song. Henry Fitzroy seems like a guy who would rock out, not be all Evanesceney. Yes, I hate Evanescence.



Here's a Henry/Vicki video from TheHuntress792, who displays an admirable obsession with vampy shows.



This song is hilariously schmatzy, so enjoy! Please, Alexander Skarsgard, lose the girly hair and because I find it uncomfortably confusing.





This video is very wrong and I feel ashamed for enjoying something which takes an innocent song and twists it, but I thought Alexander Skarsgard fans would appreciate it.